Somehow I managed to reach my eighth decade without having major surgery that wasn’t laparoscopic, so I had no way of knowing what would be appropriate to expect of myself after my surgery on May 9. Our small group, which we host and I lead, was scheduled to meet a week and a half later.
At our April meeting, one of the group asked if I was going to be up to hosting our May meeting. I shrugged and said, “We’ll see.”
After I came home from the hospital, I spent a lot of time fretting about whether we should host the meeting (Donn said he could get the house ready) or ask someone else to host so I could lead at their house. I prayed a lot about which we should do.
On Mother’s Day, our daughter, Jen, her husband, Kirk, and our granddaughter, Madison, stopped in to visit. Kirk is the administrator of a large nursing home and has a wonderful “bedside manner” and helped me sort out some issues about medications that I was wrestling with.
When their family was leaving, Kirk gently hugged me good-bye, then gave me a thoughtful look. “Do what you need to do,” he said, “but don’t be a hero.”
“Okay,” I responded, storing that in my “things to ponder” file. Kirk loves to tease and rarely gives me advice, but I knew he was serious about this.
Soon after that, the Lord woke me early one morning while Donn was still asleep—a rare thing. Once again the decision I needed to make about small group came to mind. As I wrestled with it yet again, the words Kirk had spoken came to mind. “Do what you need to do, but don’t be a hero.” With great clarity, I realized that I’d been asking the wrong question.
The question wasn’t whether I should lead small group at our house or somewhere else, the question was should I even be attending at all. As I rested quietly, I sensed that it would be too much for me to lead the group either way or even to attend. I wasn’t ready.
I took a deep breath as peace flowed through me. I didn’t need to be a hero—neither God nor our small group expected it of me. As I navigated my way through the following days, the Holy Spirit used Kirk’s words often to guide my choices. I eliminated those that would require me to “be a hero.”
Let me hasten to say that I’m not saying there isn’t a time for being a hero. There certainly is. Todd Beamer, the first person who comes to mind when I think about someone who became a hero, stepped up to take the lead in attempting to regain control of their plane from the hijackers on 9/11. “In a nation hungry for heroes Todd Beamer stands out as an American martyr…” (“Let’s Roll, The Guardian).
So yes, from the first David and Goliath scenario to modern day men and women like Todd Beamer, the world needs heroes. And sometimes it might be you or me who need to take that role. However, there are also times when we need to recognize our need to rest and heal—to realize that God is not calling us to be heroes.
Sometimes our pride and self-sufficient tendencies make it difficult to lower our self-expectations and accept our limitations, even for a little while. But God said even to the great prophet, Elijah, “ …the journey is too much for you.” May God give us “ears to hear” when He is saying that to us.
Thank you, Father, for your grace when our health turns our normal responsibilities into tasks that would require us to be heroes. Help us not to insist on being heroes when all you’re asking us to do is rest. Amen.