Before my MRI on February 8, I counted the days until I could have that test done, eager to get on to the treatment phase. Now as I wait for my MRI-guided needle biopsies, I haven’t counted the days at all. Other than a couple sad days after learning they’d found more “suspicious areas,” I’ve simply been living my normal life and felt no need to count days until the next test. I was pleased by the progress I was making in being better at waiting.

But this morning as I picked up my pen to journal the beginning of my time with Jesus, I realized that I wasn’t eager to have this test. There was no reason to count the days because I really didn’t want to know the outcome. I remembered a line from a song years ago, “I wonder but I really don’t want to know.”

If the report is bad, not only I, but also my family, will have to deal with it. My surgeon had explained how the results of these biopsies will change the tentative treatment plan if the suspicious areas are cancer. Now and then, other things he told me come to mind, and even though I’m not sure exactly what the meaning of some of those things are, it’s worrisome. Dr. K told me I could call him after I had time to process the things we’d talked about, and he’d explain anything I didn’t understand. I haven’t done that. Again, perhaps because I really don’t want to know.

After journaling some of my feelings this morning, I picked up my Bible and opened The Upper Room devotional to Tuesday, February 21. This was the title, “Giants in the Land,” based on Numbers 13:26-33 where the twelve spies go up to the Promised Land. The author focused on the difference between how Caleb and Joshua responded to the experience and how the other ten spies described it. The ten spies said, “We can’t attack those people; they’re stronger than we are (Numbers13:31) but Caleb said, “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”

George T. Wilkerson says, Assessing their chance at victory, they (the ten spies) relied on human logic and strength rather than having faith in God’s promise. When they compared themselves to giants, they were sure they would lose. Caleb and Joshua trusted God… They measured the giants against God.

Wow! This morning I was comparing myself to the “giant” of possible bad results from the biopsies and my heart failed me. Instead, I needed to measure the giant against God who says, “Nothing is too difficult for me” (Jeremiah 32:17).

My devotional continued, We face many giants–problems, temptations, and tests that are too big for us to defeat on our own. But even the biggest giants are puny when we measure them against God. This knowledge fills me with hope and encourages me to trust in God because I know God will prevail.

Then I moved on to my In Touch devotional and found more words to encourage me from Charles Stanley. Those who commit themselves to living for God’s purposes will gain greater understanding of Him. The Holy Spirit will enable them to see circumstances and people from His divine perspective. Yes, Lord, enable me to see my circumstances through your divine perspective.

You know what I’m facing today but I want to know, what “giants” are you facing? Are you dealing with fears that are making your life miserable and keeping you out of the “Promised Land” of peace regardless of your circumstances?  I pray that Mr. Wilkerson’s words would be helpful to you, enabling you to stop comparing yourselves to the giants in your life and to start measuring the giants against the big God that you serve.

I want to close with Mr. Wilkerson’s prayer from The Upper Room; I hope it will become yours:

Dear God, we put our trust in you. Remind us that nothing we experience in this life

is too big for you to handle. Amen.