In my last telephone conversation with my surgeon, I admitted that the wait from my appointment with him on January 18 until my MRI on February 8 seemed very long. He said, “Women tell me that the worst part of this breast cancer journey is not the surgery or the treatments, it’s the waiting.”

I haven’t yet reached a point where I’m in a position to know whether I agree with that statement or not—I haven’t experienced the surgery or the treatments. However, as I think back on my mental behavior over the last three weeks, I have to suspect he may be right.

Even though I’m not anxious or worried and have had amazing peace during the wait, I found myself counting the weeks and then the days until my MRI almost daily. I was delighted when at last I had graduated from weeks to days after February first.

What is it about waiting that we humans find so difficult? I’m not sure I know the answer to that question, although I know it starts early. I can still hear our youngest granddaughter saying when she could barely speak clearly, “This is taking foreva!”

I’m not in pain or even discomfort. I’m busy and happy and have productive work to do—a book I’d like to finish before my surgery and a five-year-old granddaughter with whom we love spending time. And yet, I counted the days.

Although I’m not sure I know why we hate waiting so much—maybe because it messes with our illusion of control–I’ve noticed that God has had things to say about waiting lately. On February 7, two of my devotional guides talked about waiting.

One devotional from The Upper Room was titled, Waiting Faithfully, with this theme verse from Psalms 27:14: Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord (Psalm 27:14). The author says, Putting our trust in God sometimes means waiting when we would rather take action. But waiting for God’s guidance and help allow us to take shelter until the path ahead is clear. (Denise Leite) 

The other devotional from In Touch was titled Abraham’s Lesson on Patience. Few of us have ever had our patience as sorely tried as Abraham and Sarah, and they are a textbook case on the dangers of choosing to act instead of wait.

 Charles Stanley says, Have you considered that delays in your life can also glorify God? Or are you trying to help Him out in an attempt to get what you want more quickly? Waiting is difficult, but it’s the only way we learn patience, which is precious to the Lord. When you experience a delay, use it as an opportunity to build your trust in God and your confidence in His wisdom and perfect plan.

And then, around that same time, just in case I hadn’t gotten the message, I read the following from Jesus Lives by Sarah Young: I want you to watch in hope as you wait for Me, your Savior. Wait expectantly: confident that I will do what is best. The longer you have to wait, the more you must rely on your trust in Me.

And from Jesus Today by the same author: Waiting in itself is not a virtue. The important thing is how you wait: in a resigned, impatient way or in hope—keeping your focus on me…While you are waiting, remember that I am your help and shield…No matter what is happening or how bad you feel, voice your trust in Me!…So put your hope fully in Me, and the Light of My Presence will shine into your waiting times.

Did you notice how often the word TRUST showed up in those devotionals? More than anything, I think that’s what God wants from us in our waiting times… to trust Him and remember He is in control. A friend texted me the night before my MRI ending her text with these words, “Remember, TRUST!!!!!”

I told her, “Trust is the anchor for my soul,” which indeed it is.

As I’m finishing this blog, the call from my surgeon came, and you guessed it, more waiting… The MRI showed more suspicious areas which will need to be biopsied before a treatment plan can be finalized. So, God must have more to teach me and our family about waiting…  and about trust.

I wonder if you too are sitting in God’s waiting room today… If so,  I pray that these devotionals will help you as they’ve helped me and that you would also choose TRUST as the anchor for your soul.

Father, only you know what the future holds and only you are worthy of our trust. We choose to place our trust in you to bring about your perfect will. Amen.