For one reason or another, Donn and I have found ourselves newcomers at churches off and on for years, and I’m especially passionate about making everyone, but especially newcomers, welcome! Coordinating the Welcome Ministry at our church and leading by example gives me a lot of joy.
Many years ago when we were joining a new church, and I commented to the leadership that people weren’t particularly welcoming, leadership’s solution was to place us on a committee whose role it was to make newcomers welcome! I thought it was a terrible idea since we were so new ourselves that we had no idea who the newcomers were! However, in the end, I saw the value in what they did.
Instead of waiting for people to talk to me, I began approaching them. Since I didn’t want to offend people who might have been coming to the church for forty years by treating them like newcomers, I began introducing myself to people by saying, “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Daisy Townsend.”
Usually, they reciprocated by introducing themselves to me. If they didn’t start a conversation, I might ask them any number of questions such as: Have you been attending this church for a long time, or We’ve only been attending this church for [six] weeks so I’m eager to get to know folks!
If the people were newcomers, I added them to my list who would eventually be invited to one of the committee member’s houses for dinner or to a dinner for newcomers at the church.
After I was serving in my present role in the church we now attend, I approached a couple one day that I hadn’t met before and spoke with them at some length, discovering they were new in our community. Eventually, the wife thanked me for talking with them and told me they’d visited our church on Easter Sunday and not a single person had spoken to them. I was devastated! She said they had gone on to visit other churches, but hadn’t found what they were looking for, so, reluctantly, they had returned to visit us again!
Thankfully, we became friends and they became regular attenders at our church. I comforted myself with the fact that the couple had entered by the door that few people use, so we hadn’t stationed greeters at that door—there are greeters stationed there now! Also, the Easter Sunday they’d visited, the lobby had been very crowded with people lingering there where snacks had been offered that day. In other words, it was a zoo, and I could see how newcomers could have been missed.
Nevertheless, our pastor asked if I would share this story with the congregation (no names, of course) and use it as a teaching moment, which I did. I expressed the need for everyone to be “greeters” and to make people welcome. “If you notice someone sitting near you that you haven’t met, take the initiative to greet them and introduce yourself. If you and your friends are going out for lunch, invite them to join you.”
I told the congregation that when we had been attending the church for some time, I had told the Lord one day, “If no one tries to have a meaningful conversation with me today, I’m going to assume we’re in the wrong church.” That day three people approached me to have meaningful conversations!
One woman told me after my presentation to the church, “I needed that!”
I have also become intentional about trying to learn people’s names. I have a couple sheets of paper in the back of my Bible crammed with the names of newcomers—or at least new to me. My greatest challenge was when our new associate pastor, Kyle, arrived with his wife and nine children whose names all began with K! I begged his wife to send me individual pictures of the children with their names. It worked and soon I was able to call them each by name. One of the children said, “How did you do that!” to which I responded, “I cheated! I begged your mom to send me pictures of each of you with names!”
When someone tells me I’m good with names, I assure them I’m not. I’ve worked so hard to memorize faces and names because I believe it’s important. I’m told that years ago there was a gentleman in the church who wrote down and memorized people’s names, so perhaps it’s a calling.
Last Sunday Sarah chose where we’d sit in church, and I discovered we were seated behind a couple who were newcomers and a gentleman behind us that I’d just met the week before. As we waited for the service to begin, I heard the gentleman behind us talking earnestly with a friend of mine about why he was at our church. Because I had met him the week before, I felt comfortable to turn around, call him by name and join in the conversation. I was so encouraged by his humble spirit, acknowledging his need to grow in the Lord.
After the service, I introduced myself and spoke at some length with the newcomers in front of us, finding that this was their first Sunday and learning their story. That evening I was delighted to see that they’d come to our Fifth Sunday Fun Day. I went over to tell them how happy I was to see them there. They told me a number of people had introduced themselves after the morning service and initiated meaningful conversations with them! She said, “It felt like our home church where we came from.”
I was so delighted with that information and that indication that our church is growing by leaps and bounds in becoming a welcoming, friendly church!
What about your church? Are you a friendly, welcoming church? Or do newcomers feel like I felt as a newcomer at a couple of churches we attended, as though people in that congregation didn’t need any more friends. Most of them had been attending those churches for years and had all the friends they needed. If you’ve never been a “newcomer,” try to put yourself in their shoes and make them welcome or even be their friend!
Jesus, even though you had some best friends (your disciples), you made everyone welcome, even the little children that your disciples tried to send away. Help us to do the same. Amen.