February 28
When we traveled to Cleveland Clinic for the first time to visit our son, Robb, in 2021, I saw the words to Isaiah 41:10 plastered on a full-size billboard along the road: DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM WITH YOU; DO NOT BE DISMAYED, FOR I AM YOUR GOD; I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU AND HELP YOU; I WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND.
For weeks afterward, I saw or heard that verse everywhere. One evening we went to a service of contemporary Christian music in the Greenville Park. The minister from the Salvation Army was in charge of leading the service and told the group, “This isn’t the scripture I planned to read tonight but for some reason I felt prompted to read Isaiah 41:10.”
Later, as we were leaving, I told her, “That Scripture you read–Isaiah 41:10–that was for us.” I moved on because she was talking to someone else, but she finished her conversation and followed us. When I told her what was happening in our lives and that I’d been seeing and hearing that verse everywhere, she prayed for us.
Several months ago when my present health journey began, Isaiah 41:10 began showing up everywhere again. Last Thursday as we drove into Ohio for my MRI-Guided needle biopsies, Donn said, “Look, Honey, Isaiah 41:10!” This time it was just the reference on a sign in a field beside the road. It looked official–not like something someone scrawled on a board. I thanked God for another reminder not to be afraid or dismayed because He is with me.
Everything went smoothly at my appointment. All of the people at the Mercy Health Joanie Abdue Center were wonderful. Once again, no one said anything scary about our insurance, but if they had, I was prepared! Our daughter-in-law works at another Mercy Health Center and discovered that Highmark (our insurance) has so many insurance plans that those entering my information at a Mercy Health Center have to put in a different word (Anthem) which will then bring up all the Highmark plans. If you put in “Highmark,” nothing shows up as being in the system! Apparently, the people I talked to the first day weren’t aware of that. I cringe when I think how nearly we were scared away from coming to the Center where Dr. K practices.
After all the preliminaries, my Nurse Navigator took me into the inner waiting room to go over my instructions for after the procedure. The doors to the inner rooms were still locked and she said, “I guess Christina hasn’t arrived yet.“
Christina had been my MRI tech before and I really liked her, so I was delighted to have her again. Soon she bustled in and told me, “I’m sorry I’m a little late. We don’t do MRIs here on Thursday, but I came over from the hospital to do yours today.” This increased my belief that my doctor had intervened to get me in sooner, and I was so grateful.
I had never had an MRI-Guided needle biopsy before, and by the time we were finishing, I had lain perfectly still on my stomach for almost an hour! I wasn’t even able to scratch my nose when it itched. When my MRI tech entered my half of the room, I thought we were finished and started to raise my head. Christina said, “Don’t sit up or we’ll have to start all over again!” She offered to scratch my nose but the itch went away.
After that, my nurse navigator joined my MRI tech and stood at my head, holding my hands. The radiologist was first on my left, then on my right during the biopsies. When the procedure was finally over and I was allowed to move, we talked for a few minutes. I told them, “I’m an open book. All my Facebook friends know what’s going on.“
My NN responded, “You get a lot more prayer that way.”
I agreed and told them how difficult it had been for me to hold still for so long, but went on to tell them about Isaiah 41:10, the first sighting and the second that morning. By God’s grace I was able to quote that scripture word for word. When I finished, the radiologist said, “And I like that one–is it in Philipians?–‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”‘
Once again, I felt like I was surrounded by God’s “angels” (not real angels but people who know Him and love Him).
As we wait for the pathology reports, I remember that when God first gave me Isaiah 41:10, I assumed He meant that everything would be fine, that Robb was going to be okay. But eventually I realized that isn’t what Isaiah 41:10 says. I hope this time I have a more realistic view of the meaning of that Scripture. God wants me not to be afraid or dismayed, not because He’s saying everything will be fine, but because He is with me, because He is my God, because He will strengthen me, and help me, and hold me with His righteous right hand. Because He is enough, come what may.
Father, help us not to misinterpret your Word, twisting it to fit our expectations. Help us to cling to you whatever comes our way. Amen.
March 2
Once again the phone call came from my doctor after I had finished but not yet published my blog yesterday. (I had hoped the call wouldn’t come on Donn’s birthday.) My Mercy app had sent me a message telling me I had new test results, but I couldn’t get it to let me in. A couple hours later, my doctor called with the results. I was so thankful I’d heard it straight from him when I could ask all the questions I wanted and receive the information from his reassuring voice.
I’ve had a deep inner knowing since the day my first MRI was done that the biopsies would show cancer and that it would change my treatment plan, but still I dreaded having it confirmed. The amazing thing is that after having a lengthy conversation with Dr. K (with Donn on another phone) in which I received that very information, I had complete peace without dread or fear. I understand now why Satan tried so hard to keep me from having this doctor who God has used in my journey in such a mighty way.
Although the biopsies showed cancer, it is a noninvasive form–different from the one shown in my first biopsies. If this was the only cancer I have, it would have been more easily treated than the first. However, because of its placement in addition to the first cancer, the combination will require more extensive surgery.
My doctor wants to get me a referral today to an oncologist practice where he knows the oncologists so they can determine if I need chemo. (He’s basically sure I will because of a factor in the first cancer diagnosed.) If I do, he wants me to have chemo prior to surgery to eliminate the possibility of any complications with the surgery delaying the chemo. He helped me understand that it isn’t the surgery that gets rid of the cancer, it’s the treatment.
So we’re back again to clinging to God’s promise, Isaiah 41:10. Also, I picked up this wooden disk at Donn’s birthday dinner at Cracker Barrel on Tuesday to remind me that it’s all about trust. It remains the key to our peace. Thank you so much for all your prayers.
