A few weeks ago, a devotional titled, Your Heart’s Desire, spoke to me. Here are a few excerpts:

When we delight in the Lord, He gives us the desire of our heart. If we delight in financial success, washboard abs, or highly accomplished children, He makes no promises…. Take an honest look at the things you long for, dream about and desire. What do they reveal about your relationship with God? What, if any, changes do you need to make?

 So I took an honest look at the things I long for, dream about and desire. I discovered that financial success, washboard abs, or highly accomplished children weren’t even at the bottom of my list! I can’t even say I long for my new book to be published, although it’s something I want. Here are a few of the longings at the top of my list:

I long for all our children and their spouses to be men/women of God who value Him and a holy life above all else, who tenderly guide their families and treat them with dignity and respect, and who are faithful to their mates in every thought and deed.

I long for all our grandchildren to be boys/girls, men/women, of God who love God with all their hearts, souls, strength and minds., who are pure in heart and mind, rejecting the culture’s wicked ways, and who keep their word, especially to God and their family.

I long for our family to want to visit us,  to spend time with us, to be together.

I wrote down many more longings that day but as I read the first ones, I realized perhaps they weren’t too different from the longings God has for His children, His family. He longs for us to be men and women of God who lead holy lives and love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds, and strength. He longs for us to spend time with Him because we want to, not as a duty, and He longs for us to want to spend time with each other, our brothers and sisters in Christ.

During our church’s worship night on Sunday evening, I realized that although there was nothing wrong with my longings, Psalm 63:1 revealed an even deeper longing God wanted me to have.  You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. I knew I couldn’t honestly say that my whole being longed for God.

When God created Adam and Eve, He set the stage for those He loves to reject or ignore His desire for intimacy. Just as I can’t force our children and grandchildren to long for a closer relationship with me, God will not force us to long to be closer to Him. He won’t force us to put Him first or love Him most or spend time with Him. One of our children asked me years ago, “How can we love God, whom we cannot see, more than we love our children who are so dear to us?” It’s a difficult question.

While I knew I couldn’t honestly say the words of Psalm 63:1 on Sunday evening, I knew I wanted to be able to say them. Later, I read a prayer on Instagram by A. W. Tozer that expressed the desire of my heart. Would you read it aloud and let the Holy Spirit do what only He can do?

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this.

 Father, even though we may not be able to say with the Psalmist that our whole being longs for you, we can say with A. W. Tozer that we want to want you, we long to be filled with longing, we thirst to be made more thirsty still. We invite you, Holy Spirit, to create in us what we are unable to create in ourselves. Amen.