Ever since the oncology PA told me three weeks ago that I only have a 10% chance of a recurrence of breast cancer regardless of whether or not I take the aromatase inhibitor drug, I’ve wrestled with what I was going to do. Actually, I’d pretty much made up my mind to stop the drug unless the Holy Spirit told me otherwise, but I knew my oncologist wouldn’t be pleased. If there was any way I could have stopped taking the drug without telling her, I’d have done it.

This whole issue has never been far from my mind. I wondered why I hadn’t been told from the start what seemed to be important statistics about my condition. I also did extensive research about any connection between aromatase inhibitors and high blood pressure and heart palpitations—two issues I’ve been having. There were definite possible connections.

My sister-in-law, who had been a registered nurse for many years, was coming to visit before my appointment with my oncologist; so I prayed I’d have a chance to talk to her about the situation. When Natalie came out to the kitchen while I made her a cup of tea, I brought up the subject.

Ultimately, Natalie confirmed my thoughts. She said it was totally my decision whether or not I wanted to continue on the AI drugs. In addition, in today’s field of medicine, there is to be total disclosure with the patient about their condition–no pressure from the physician about their choice. After our conversation, I felt strengthened in my decision to stop this drug.

By Tuesday, the day of my appointment with Dr. L,  I had complete peace about my decision. One of my devotional scriptures from Hebrews 13 contained this message: So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’

What indeed! I refused to allow myself to dwell on my upcoming conversation with my oncologist.

On the way to the Cancer Center, my left hipbone and the muscles in my left thigh hurt worse than they had for a long time. I told Donn, “If I’d had any thoughts of changing my mind about stopping the medicine, the pain I’m in would have removed them!”

When my oncologist entered our examining room, we exchanged greetings, and she did an examination. I waited, not wanting to initiate the unwelcome subject until she started a conversation.

Eventually, Dr. L sat down and said, “The pharmacy notified me that because of one of the other drugs you’re on, we need to increase the amount of the Exemestane (the second aromatase inhibitor they put me on) you’re taking since the other drug you’re taking interferes with absorption.”

This was exactly the opening I needed! I didn’t want to take the amount of Exemestane I was already on, and I certainly didn’t want to increase the amount! I said quietly, “I promised you that if I decided to stop taking the aromatase Inhibitors, you’d be the first to know. So I’m telling you today that I’m going to stop taking it.”

Her immediate response was much calmer than I expected, but ultimately she had a lot of questions and still tried to change my mind. She told me that I had been “misinformed” and that it wasn’t true that my chances of having a recurrence of breast cancer was the same whether or not I took this drug.

“If that isn’t the correct information, what is the correct information?” I asked.

Dr. L seemed surprised by my question but got out her computer and started plugging my information into a “calculator.” When she finished, there was very little difference between her information and what the PA had told me.

I shook my head. “That’s not enough of a difference for me to put up with all of this for five years. Also, I have an appointment with my cardiologist tomorrow, and I want to be able to tell her I stopped this medicine so eventually she can eliminate that as the cause of my high blood pressure and heart palpitations.

When the doctor left the room, Donn said, “That could have gone worse than it did.”

I laughed. I couldn’t say my conversation with the doctor had gone well, but it definitely could have gone worse! Donn said he was afraid she’d say, “Well, you’re on your own then” when I told her I wasn’t going to take the medicine.

On Wednesday, I told Donn, “I’m so happy to be visiting Dr. I, my cardiologist. I love her. She’s so understanding and sweet. I think she’s a Christian.”

When I arrived in Dr. I’s examining room, the tech did an EKG and then left. When Dr. I entered and asked how I was feeling, I told her everything that was going on—the words tumbling out of my mouth! Then I apologized for throwing so much information at her.  She assured me that was okay, and said she had some things to tell me too.

I smiled and told her how much I appreciate her, ending with, “I trust you!”

She waved that aside but said, “And I trust God so we’re okay!”

“I knew you were a Christian,” I said, smiling, I’m sure, from ear to ear!

Dr. I nodded, returned my smile, then looked at the papers in front of her. “I need to tell you that the EKG we did today showed you were in atrial flutter, that might be what you’ve been sensing as heart palpitations. We’re going to have you wear a heart monitor for 30 days. If this is a frequent thing, we’ll have to put you on blood thinner because this can cause a stroke.”

I asked if we could have Donn come to the examining room so he could hear from the doctor what her findings were. She also called the tech back to do another EKG which showed that my heart was back in rhythm. She increased my blood pressure medicine but made no other changes in my medicine for now.   

One of my devotionals Tuesday morning was based on Psalm 46:1-11 which begins:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, ³ though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

And includes verse 10: Be still, and know that I am God.

I’m so thankful for my Christian cardiologist who is knowledgeable, kind, and who trusts God rather than relying on herself. While the information I received today was unexpected, I know it didn’t take God by surprise and I choose to trust Him. I’m in awe of the devotional from The Upper Room I read and posted on Facebook Wednesday  morning before my appointment with Dr. I:

I felt that God was saying to me, ‘I am holding you. You are anchored.’ I kept repeating this to myself through the time of anxious waiting at the hospital. I didn’t feel a warm glow of peace, but I knew that we were in God’s hands. We were anchored.

Thank you, Father, that you’ve proved again that you’re my Rock and that when the storms surround me, I can sing with assurance My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock. Amen.