For several days a song was on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t find it, or even find enough words to do a Google search or ask for Donn’s help. I even remembered the structure of the song—verse 1, verse 2, Chorus, Verse 1, Chorus, but no words. Then last night during our prayer time, it came. I was so excited, I stopped mid-prayer to tell Donn. The words were like water to my dry, parched soul.

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all.

Have you had moments like that in the midst of this pandemic storm? I’ve insisted all along that Donn and I haven’t really been affected by the pandemic since it hasn’t changed our finances or our health. I’ve also said it has had little effect on my life as a writer. I have no excuse for not “going to work” in my second floor office in our home.

Meanwhile, as I’ve steadfastly held to my schedule, going upstairs to write every time I’m scheduled to write, I’m questioning why writing has become harder and harder. The words don’t come as easily and it takes longer than usual to complete a chapter. Some afternoons, I long to take a nap and have to push myself to keep writing.

Then last week, I had a Zoom meeting with the Neighbor 2 Neighbor Board. I connected and interacted with other Board members as we focused on “catching up” with each other and discussed whether or not our N2N day camp would happen this year. When our meeting ended an hour and a half later, I felt more alive than I’d felt in weeks.

That’s when it dawned on me that while my health and my finances haven’t been affected by COVID-19, I’m suffering from people deprivation. I assumed that, because I want to be alone when I write, not being around people wasn’t a problem for the “writer” me. I was wrong! I don’t fully understand it, but being deprived of contact with people affects my ability to write.

As Christians, I think we’re often sadly out of touch with what affects the workings of our souls. Some time ago, the Lord got my attention by asking me two days in a row (through the written word), “What does your soul long for?” The first time, I gave the question about ten seconds of consideration and moved on. What if I discovered that what my soul longed for was impossible to obtain?

When the question came again the next day, I knew the Lord was serious. As I gave deep thought to the question, I knew that what my soul longed for was a small group like the one Donn and I had been part of in a previous church. I also believed God was saying that not only was that what my soul longed for, it was what my soul needed.

God created us for relationship, not only with Him but with each other. When all our time is spent alone or in surface relationships, it affects us at a deeper level than we know, especially if we have a large capacity for deep relationships. I’m an odd combination that I didn’t understand until I took the temperament analysis profile that was the foundation of the temperament counseling I became involved in. I love being alone and I love quiet. When I write, I don’t want music or any kind of background noise. I don’t handle well being in an environment with constant sound or constant people.

On the other hand, I love people and enjoy deep relationships with my friends and loved ones if it’s balanced by time alone. My life has always been a balancing act, trying to meet both these needs. My temperament profile showed that I am melancholy in how I think—melancholies need alone time, but in another area of my temperament, I love people and love having deep relationships.

But regardless of our specific temperaments, God made us for relationship with Him and with each other. Sheltering in place can mess with the way we’re made. I remember my mother, who was a semi-invalid later in life, saying, “Being safe and warm doesn’t meet all my needs.” How right she was.

As  our foster son was fond of saying, “So what’s your point?” My point is that during this pandemic, we need to be alert to how it may be affecting us in ways we aren’t even aware of. We need to be patient with ourselves and with each other when we react in ways that aren’t normal for us. And we need to find ways to minister to our souls. I was raised on musical harmony and it ministers to me at a deep level. I’ve found a new group, Anthem Lights, that has heavenly harmony and transports me beyond the four walls where we’ve spent most of our time. It feeds my soul.

If you’ve found ways to minister to your soul during these difficult days, I’d love to hear from you. By God’s grace, we will get through this together!

God of all comfort, will you comfort us so that we may comfort others with the same comfort you’ve given to us. Amen. (II Corinthians 1:3-4 Paraphrased)