About the time our son, Robb, was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, April of 2021, Donn and I were working on a jigsaw puzzle, listening to one of our IPods. It had a lot of older Contemporary Christian music, including songs by Phillips, Craig, and Dean, a group we really like.
Donn said, “I wonder if PCD have put out a new album lately?”
“I’ll look,” I responded.
I soon discovered that they’d put out an album in July of 2020 called, You’re Still God, that we hadn’t known about. We were excited and listened to some of the songs online before downloading them from ITunes.
Two of them spoke to me in the same way You’ve Already Won by Shane and Shane spoke to me during my battle with breast cancer—There is a God By Chris DuBois and Ashley Gorley and You’re Still God by Tony Wood, Michael Farren, Randy Phillips. I want to print the lyrics for you, but I really recommend that you listen to them online if you’re going through a battle.
There is a God
[Verse 1]
If there is a God, who holds the whole world in His hand
Then where were You when mine came crashing down?
If there is a God, who tells the sun and the stars where to shine
Then where were You when all the lights went out?
These are the questions from a heart
Desperate to know just where You are
Right now I can’t see You, but I’m choosing to believе
[Chorus]
There is a God who’s nevеr left me
Here in the hurting, You’re still with me
You have carried me this far, and You won’t stop now
Oh, there is a God who sees my sorrow
Catches my tears in a bottle
You’re still working even when I can’t see how
[Post-Chorus]
There is pain, there is broken
There is hurt, and He’s the hope I’m standing on
[Verse 2]
There is a God, who promises me He has a plan
And I’m protected by His hand through flood and fire, hey
There is a God, who’s working all things for my good
Sometimes slower than I think He should
But His ways are higher
So I’m looking forward to the day
When I see the purpose for this pain
Oh, but until I do, I’m choosing to believe
[Chorus]]
[Bridge]
There is a God, who won’t let me walk through this valley alone (This valley alone)
No, I’m not alone
There is a God, who won’t let me walk through this valley alone (This valley alone)]
[Outro]
There is a God
There is a God
You’re Still God
Verse 1]
I thought I could trust You
Deep down, I know I can
But I’m so hurt and angry
At this circumstance
Did I miss something somewhere?
Did I not pray enough?
But with a faith that is shredded
I’ll say that I trust
[Chorus]
You’re still God when I can’t see it
You’re still God when it’s hard believing
You’re still moving
Doesn’t matter if I know what You’re doing or not
You’re still God
[Verse 2]
Feeling crushed by the questions
All the things I don’t know
But You hold all the answers
Where else could I go?
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
You’rе still God, though it feels like You’re hiding
And I’m dying herе in the deafening silence
Begging for mercy with tears on my face
And all I’ve got left is a whisper to say
[Chorus]
[Outro] (You’re still God) You’re still God (You’re still God)
I can’t tell you what the words of these songs meant to me while we walked through those difficult days. Donn burned a CD and it was our morning wake up for months as we walked through our son’s illness, death, and our grieving. When we heard recently that Phillips, Craig and Dean were coming to Meadville, I was so excited! We had never seen this group in person, and I was sure they’d sing these songs because this was still their latest album.
However, to my disappointment, they didn’t sing a single song from their latest album. What they did sing was a song they’d released in 1999 that I had completely forgotten they sang, When God Ran.
It’s the story of the prodigal son whose Father ran to meet him when he came home from the far country. And since Robb spent a good part of his life in “the far country,” this was one of his favorite songs.
The night that he was dying, his wife, Leslie, and I sat on either side of his bed with Donn nearby. Robb was unconscious, but I had my IPad and played mostly Contemporary Christian Worship songs by groups I knew Robb had loved. I thought of When God Ran, but for some reason, I didn’t play it.
Then Leslie said, “What about that song about God running that Robb loved so much?”
“All right,” I agreed. “That’s a good idea.”
So probably the last time I’d heard When God Ran was the night our son was dying, and because I’d forgotten that our version of When God Ran was by PCD, I was unprepared for them to do that song.
When I heard the first chords of the song, tears began to roll down my cheeks and it was all I could do to keep from sobbing out loud. The first verse and the chorus go like this:
When God Ran
Almighty God, The Great I Am
Immovable Rock, Omnipotent, Powerful
Awesome Lord, Victorious Warrior
Commanding King of Kings
Mighty Conqueror and the only time
The only time I ever saw him run
Was when He ran to me
He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest
Said “My son’s come home again!”
Lifted my face
Wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said
“Son, do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise
When God ran
The song brought back so many memories of the night Robb died, so many memories of the time he’d spent “in the far country,” but it also reminded me of the many times he had come running back to God. How thankful I am that we serve a God who runs to meet us when we have gone our own way, who wipes the tears from our eyes with forgiveness in His voice as he says, “Son/daughter, do you know I still love you?”
If you’ve been walking the path of a prodigal, won’t you turn around and give God a chance to welcome you back into His arms of love? Won’t you give Him the opportunity to show His love by running to meet and restore you as His beloved son or daughter? Please don’t let the enemy tell you that you’ve sinned one too many times for God to forgive you. Turn away from his lies and don’t walk, but run back to the Father who is running to meet you,
Heavenly Father, thank you for loving us and forgiving us when we’ve done nothing to deserve it. Thank you for telling us that as far as the east is from the west, so far have you removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12) Thank you for your mercy. Amen.