For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing (II Corinthians 2:15 NIV).
When our twins were almost 12 years old, I found myself going through an identity crisis. Although I was only 33, our children no longer needed me in the same way as they once had. I felt that I needed to decide what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. One short semester in college after my father died had shown me that I was too much of a perfectionist to pursue a degree in Christian Ministries and be a wife and mother at the same time, so I knew pursuing a degree was not an option.
I found myself praying continuously, “Lord, what do you want me to do?” The question consumed me, and my previous priorities disintegrated. I was too preoccupied with considering career options to be sensitive to the constant opportunities God gave me to minister to my family and those around me.
One day in the midst of my headlong pursuit, God spoke to me. “I’m not nearly so concerned about what you’re going to do as I am about who you’re going to be.” The words were so powerful that I felt like someone had literally put the brakes on my drive to find a vocation and brought me back to God’s priority. The question was not what was I going to do but who was I going to be?
Father, remind us often that, though you may call us to do many things during the course of our lives, who you call us to be will never change–a vessel through which His love can shine. Amen.
